Parents dont let your children grow up to be welshers. This is one of my posts that didn’t make the cut over at TDS. And a certain blogger got his panties in a real twist over it. But there’s nothing to stop me from posting it here!
You wont find this but it happened, and it was glorious. Enjoy.
Let’s all shame BD34 for welshing on a bet
As some of you may be aware, last summer, when I was a little cautious about giving Harden a max contract before the season starts I made a bet with fellow TDS writer and resident staff sourpuss BD34 over Harden’s stat line for the 2012-2013 season. The bet was very simple:
James Harden season averages had to be 26 points per game, 6 rebounds and 4 assists.
Keep in mind that these numbers are exact in their simplicity. Not vague generalities or ballpark figures. I had no idea how important this would become. So we had set up the parameters, Harden had to average 26/6/4, but we never got around to deciding what would happen when one of us lost.
In our short lived column that we wrote together we discussed the bet a little and he had this to say:
BD: I have proudly proclaimed that Harden will average 26/6/4 … As for the stakes, name it. Public shaming/twitter shaming is fine, I’m not getting naked in public though.
26. 6. 4.
Harden’s final numbers for the season: 25.9 points, 5.8 rebounds and 4.9 assists per game.
I admit that I was nervous as hell as the season wound down but I was relieved that Harden fell short of the thresh hold. BD immediately tried to worm out of admitting he lost. He’s claims that just because he was sooooo close, that it should be enough to make him the winner. That’s nonsense.
But in the interest of pragmatism I sent an email to three members of the TDS editorial board, GrungeDave, Tom Martin, and Patrick Harrell, only Dave replied and he sided with me:
(click to enlarge)
Good point, Dave!
BD did not dispute this in subsequent emails. He had the chance to do so, and if he had convinced Dave or Tom or Patrick, then I would’ve cut my losses and taken defeat. But he didn’t.
The issue wasn’t raised again after this email, so we left at that. I figured I’d wait till we got to the dead part of the offseason to make some sport out of this. I took some time to think about what I was gonna make BD do or say. I came up with the perfect idea. Unfortunately, the details of this idea aren’t that important now as it is clear that VD34 will never get his head out from under his ass and admit he lost. But suffice it to say, I’m positive everyone would’ve greatly enjoyed what I had planned.
We all would’ve laughed and passed some time, and forgotten, if only for a moment, that we still have a long way to go before the season starts. And isn’t that kind of what the point of this entire blog?
Now it will never happen, and it’s all BD’s fault. He’s robbed us of a good time just because he’s a sore loser. For shame, BD. FOR SHAME!
Anyway, part of me wanted to just go ahead and do the prank anyway, but I consider BD a friend. I wanted to give him the courtesy of a heads up before I posted anything. I was aware that he was bitter about this but I thought enough time had passed and he would accept reality.
So yesterday I approached BD about resolving this thing. But, being the welshing low-life speck of a human being that he is, BD dug in and hilariously broke down over the issue.
Here are some slightly edited screen caps of our conversation.
I realized here that we were going to have a problem and it sunk in just how BD is really no better than a venereal disease. But I wanted to stay calm. I had a good idea for shaming BD but I still wanted to give him the courtesy of running it by him instead of blindsiding him with it. Professional courtesy, and all that. But BD does not know the meaning of the word.
Interesting he uses the term “killing it.” If I were to get into a bar fight and I put someone in a coma, but that person did not die, I would not get charged with murder. This is to say, BD’s argument is pretty much comatose
If we were talking about this outside of a gambling context I would happily give credit to him for being so close. But like I have said before, close is not the same thing as closing. I told him several times we weren’t rounding, if he didn’t want to go through with this then he had plenty of time to call off the bet before the season ended. But he didnt.
By BD’s logic this is enough to win a super bowl.
Or this is enough to win you an NBA Finals.
This was a bet. There are no rewards for mere participation. There are winners and there are losers. Close (extremely close) but no cigar, BD. YOU LOST.
Now let’s all cast disapproving looks at BD. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
There was a lot of debate over who won this bet. We talked about doing a poll but I was against that since I do not think that numbers are democratic. Just becuase we all decide that a 5 is a 6 it doesnt make it so.
So I figured out a way to settle this.